Communications Breakdown

[saerwen]

It seemed like ages since Jaedon had left Neron. It was like she had been alone for weeks. She was missing him sorely. Her mind was plaguing her with thoughts about Miriel. THey were more like false theories than anything. She just kept wondering, worrying. She had arrived at the cove about two or three hours after her meeting with Neron in the lagoon. She had not been able to bring herself to go to Miriel right away.

She knew that she was angry. She knew that she was going to start acting irrationally with Miriel, jsut as she had done with Neron, if she wasn't careful. She was goign to avoid this at all costs, because in Miriel's state of mind, such an outburst might have put Miriel into a fit of rage or depression.Jaedon wanted her friend to experience neither.

The only thing that she wanted Miriel to experiece was guilt for leaving Damion all on his own. She loved Damion like a brother. He had done so muhc for Jaedon in teaching her how to control her anger and learn to be a better person than she was before. He had challenged her to rise above her rather base instincts and live a normal life. Now that wonderful person that had helped to bring her out of her rather horrific profession was in pain and longing for the woman that he loved. He had lost so many special people in the past and now he had found one person that could live with him for as long as he was alive, but she refused to come to him. He couldn't take losing another special person again.

As Jaedon listened to the lapping waves that softly fell against the shore she wondered waht would happen to Damion if Miriel had done something. What if she had run away? Would he ever stop looking for her? Probably not. If she had hurt herself, would he ever forgive himself? Probably not. If anything happened that would pull them and their fairy tale ending apart, would he be able to recover? Would he be able to move on? He had found the strength to do it once with his previous fiance, but would Miriel be different? Jaedon couldn't help but think that Damion wouldn't ever be able to rise up from that if Miriel left.

She rounded a corner and her feet started to sink into the sand. She was glad that she had chosen to wear shorts. As she looked around, searching for Miriel, she smiled slightly at the feeling of the warm sand under her feet, which were clad in sandals. She loved the feeling of sand.

When she looked to the farthest side of the cove, she finally found her quarry. Running up to Miriel, she gasped out, "There you are! I have been looking everywhere for you!" She hoped that her friend would be in the mood to deliver answers, but she was not very sure.

[»Míríel«]

Peace. Here there was peace. Miriel had come to the Barrier cove to try and find what this place had and she thought and hoped that somehow it would wear off on her. Once she had gotten here she knew that it was just the right surroundings for her. The cove was a haven from the breaking waves, because of the large strong cliffs that took the brunt of the beatings from the water it was allowed to stay calm, peaceful. At first this was a comforting thought, she just needed to strengthen herself and bring up the barrier and step away from a bit. Yet the longer she stayed the more she realized how weak she was and how much Damion had been and was her barrier. When she was around him, being held close in his strong arms, all her fears simply melted away.

Miriel sighed deeply at the thought and her eyes showed the longing, no raging desire for that embrace, at least once more. She needed it just one more time. She was sitting on the warm sand and she pulled her knees close to her chest, still looking at the barrier longingly. Whether she would get that wish was something she was unsure of. Damion, I need you now more than ever, as I am sure you need me. But I can't... I can't face you. I'm not strong enough." She sighed as her eyes filled with tears. Where she was currently was the closest she could be to Damion, any closer and she couldn't stand it. Even now her hands still shook, though it was slight and barely noticeable. It was her last day here, where else she would go, she wasn't sure but she needed a change of scenery.

It was in this state that Jaedon had found her. Miriel had almost sunk back to the state she was after wounding Damion. Her air was loose, blowing about her in the smooth breeze, her usually bright face was serious, and her whole figure looked ill cared for. Without Damion Miriel had given up her impeccable appearance, after all, who was there to dress up for now?

Once Jaedon's voice broke the air Miriel jumped slightly. Being so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn't even heard or seen her friend coming closer. "Jaedon!" Her tone was surprised, delighted, yet terrified. What would Jaedon do. Miriel blushed in shame when Jaedon mentioned looking all over for her. I'm, I'm sorry Jaedon. I just. Needed to be alone. So much has happened..." Miriel tucked her hair behind her ears with a slightly shaking hand.

[saerwen]

Miriel's appearance was saddening to see. It was like she had stopped caring at all. She looked like a crushed flower lying there on that beach. She was so pale, her hair was a mess. How was Jaedon going to fix this? Miriel almost looked beyond repair but she knew that she wasn't. There had to be a way to get her to move and go and see Damion.

"I understand needing to be alone for a little while, but Miriel, I haven't seen you in three days!" Jaedon almost regretted saying that because Miriel had never known that she had been there at Eventide's death. Hopefully Miriel wouldn't catch that detail. If she did, that was okay.

"Why haven't you gone to see Damion? You promised him that you go and see him soon. I told him that for you," Jaedon wasn't accusing just yet, but rather questioning. She was erring on the side of caution. She didn't want to make Miriel feel more pain than she had to. She just wanted to make sure that Miriel wasn't trying to pull away from Damion.

"Can you tell me why you haven't been to see him still?"

[»Míríel«]

Miriel felt bad, her friends were worried for her, she was embarrassed at this little fact. Perhaps she had been away to long, but then again, she almost didn't want company, almost. When Jaedon mentioned three days Miriel ducked her head slightly. So Jaedon had been keeping count. Three day, Miriel had lost track of time here, so she dated back what had happened three days ago. Had it really been only three days since Damion was wounded. She had been here for almost three days, this was her third, then her eyes widened. Three days ago Eventide had died. Miriel shot up to a standing position, eyes wide. How had Jaedon seen her? Had she seen what she had done? Her mouth twitched nervously, "I didn't see you three days ago Jaedon, surely you are mistaken..." No one needed to know about what had happened, no one.

When when Jaedon queried about her absence from Damion Miriel frowned and looked down, clasping her hand over her other upper arm. "I can't" Her voice was soft, barely enough to hear. "I want to see him but." Sorrow, immense sorrow was evident. "I can't." She was ashamed of her reasoning, her cowardice nature. "I tried I did!" She looked up at JAedon, eyes brimming with tears. "But after what happened, after what I did thinking he was..." Her eyes grew distant and her voice dropped off. IT was clear she was re-living what she had done, blow by blow. "I can't escape it. It haunts me every time I close my eyes. Every time I think of him, it comes to mind. How can I face him after...after that?"

[saerwen]

Jaedon realized that she had messed up by saying the exact amount of time. She had been keeping track of the time religiously. After all, Miriel was her best friend. How could she not notice the absence. She shook her head with a sigh, "No, Miriel, I am not mistaken. I jsut didn't talk to you three days ago. I saw you though," Jaedon paused for a moment as she thought of a pleasing way to say her next words, but eventually she just lost hope, "Miriel, I saw the end of your fight with Eventide." She almost shut her eyes and winced after she siad it, dreading what Miriel's response would be.

Jaedon was slightly annoyed with Miriel. That girl needed to wake up and smell the roses, "Miriel, have you realized that you have fallen in love with the most forgiving man that has ever breathed on this earth. There is nothing that you could ever do that would make him love you any less. However, every time he sees you he loves you even more than he did the day before. He has already forgiven you, so why not forgive yourself?" Jaedon knew that guilt was a hard thing to stomach if people were constantly reminding you of it, but Damion would never do that. He would never hurt Miriel in that way.

"Miriel, I don't know what it was the you saw that made you go off your rocker, but whatever t was, it wasn't you fault. Whatever enemy you were fighting, you didn't know that it was Damion. It wasn't like you were intentionally trying to hurt him. If you had, then yes, I could understand being guilty. But this is not reasonable."

[»Míríel«]

Miriel stared at Jaedon, for once her expression had no emotion, no light, nor no darkness. It was a dead look, something she had never had on her face before. "You...saw me?" She frowned, giving relief to anyone who had been watching. Seeing a blank expression on her face was disturbing to say the least. "I...wish you hadn't." So someone knew, someone had seen her commit that bloody deed. Bloody that death was, Eventide, though given a quick death, would have gone through immense pain. "Why? Why did you have to see it?!" It was almost a statement. She shook her head and drew her hands over her face. Of course someone had to, she couldn't live in peace with that being a faded memory in the back on her mind, someone else, living, had to share the memory with her. She tried to smile, it was a sad attempt. "You always see the worse of me don't you JAedon sometimes I wonder why others don't?"

Miriel balled her fists "I know that Jaedon, I know that out of everyone. That is what makes it worse. He deserved nothing of what happened nothing! He's so good to me...sometimes I wonder why. or how I deserved such a thing." She sighed. "I can't forgive myself, ever."

Jaedon then asked the dreaded question, what had she seen. Miriel's face froze, her eyes green dark and glittering. There was an uncharacteristic hatred in her face. "I saw something from the past, an ice phoenix." She averted her gaze, "I should have seen the signs, I should have been able to think straight. It was all to clear that what I was seeing was something else, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to kill that, kill it once and for all. Then the memory would no longer haunt me. "

[saerwen]

Jaedon smiled softly when Mriel mentioned her always seeing the worst of her. It was true that during the rough times, Jaedon was generally trhe only one that sought her out. In her mind though, Jaedon was thinking, "Damion has also seen some of your worst sides." This was something that she dare not say out loud. Miriel's heart would have broken even further.

"Well, Miriel, I suppose that is because we are friends, and I have always been the one to come and find you when everyone else was too scared or didn't care. Isn't it strange how anger can turn someone who is really so kind into something that no one dares to be around. It is a harsh reality, but the good thing is that it brings people closer together."

Jaedon was having a hard time listening to Miriel. She was blaming herself too much. It was so cruel.

"Miriel, Damion knows you better than even I do I think. He knows that you have some rough spots now and again, you have seen his rough spots to. When he was so unforgiving and dark, he asked you to forgive him, then went into the pit of despair, but what did you do? You told him that it was fine and that he needed to move on, that it was no big problem.

"Or think about the time when he and Neron caused you to lose your memory. He was so miserable, and he felt so responsible. He would have been angry with himself for all eternity if you hadn't told him that it was okay. You convinced him that he would be able to live through it and forgive himself. He will do the same for you!"

She listened to Miriel and knew exactly what she had been thinking, "Miriel, I know the feeling. It is so wonderful at first, but it bites you afterwards. However, Miriel, there had to be a reason that you wanted to kill him. What it the reason? WHy did you get so angry? I know that it hadto be something personal." She hoped that Miriel would explain, because getting mindlessly angry was just not like Miriel. There had to be some reason that she had acted the way that she did.

[»Míríel«]

Miriel nodded at Jaedon. "Anger...it is a disease. It corrupts the pure, twists the innocent, and taints the world with its sickness. I am finding it hard to believe that it brings people together." Then Miriel started talking about the past and it helped Miriel to see beyond what had just happened, back into what had been. How could Damion ask her forgiveness? How did he come up with the strength? Miriel wanted to run, hide, yet she also wanted Damion. She would have to choose which one, for she couldn't have both.

Would Damion do the same for her? She knew he would. That smile he usually had on his face would probably light it up and he would open his arms, welcoming her into the haven that they meant for her. A dreamy look came to her face and a glimmer of the old Miriel was in her eyes. She wanted him so terribly.

Just when she was starting to get a grasp back on sanity Jaedon asked for her reasoning. This was something Miriel was very touchy about. Before Miriel always skillfully dodged questions about her past. She wanted people to see her as what she was, not who she was or her family's past. This time she didn't think she would get that lucky, Jaedon was going to demand it, but Miriel also knew that she wasn't going to provide anything. She shrugged and turned her face and body from Jaedon. "It was an ice phoenix. Does it matter?" Her voice was chilling, trying to end the conversation there. Miriel didn't have the energy for dodging, nor the mental stability. Hopefully Jaedon would end it there, Miriel really hoped she did, for even the memory of that ice phoenix had made anger start to boil in her heart.

[saerwen]

When Miriel dodged her question, Jaedon knew that there was something abnormal about this whole thing. She didn't really want to push Miriel beyond what she was able to take and make her angry, but Jaedon wanted answers. Her pursuit was the first thing on her list. If Miriel wanted to prohibit her from understanding, then Jaedon would take her understanding by force. There was always more thatn one way to discover information for Jaedon. She knew that somethings needed to stay hidden, but there were so many gaps in Miriel's past that she had yet to reveal to Jaedon or Neron or even Damion. She guessed that Damion had never pried in too deep, not wanting to get too personal. It was time that Miriel started sharing.

"You know Miriel, maybe if you started telling people what's in your head, heart, and history they might be able to help you and understand you more. Just think about the kinds of defenses that Damion could have made for himself had he known that you had had a bad history with ice phoenix's. He might have been able to guess that you were seeing an illusion. What if you had told someone else? You obviously told Eventide enough for her to crawl under your skin, so why won't you open up to any of your real friends. I need to know what it is that you got so fiery about and if there is anything else that I should be worried about. If there is, then when the time comes, I might be able to prevent another fight like this past one from ever happening again."

Jaedon hoped that her argument would be enough to convince Miriel. It wasn't that she wanted to hurt Miriel, but rather that she wanted to help. It was so hard to break through the walls that Miriel kept up in order to hide her past it was borderline obsession. She thought that it was time for someone to break those walls. It would have been better if Damion could ahve been the one to break them, but Damion didn't have telepathy.

[»Míríel«]

"You understood me just fine before all of this happened didn't you? Before you didn't need to know my past, you accepted me for who I was, your friend. Why do you need to start learning about it now? " Miriel had desperation in her voice. Jaedon had a few good points, but Miriel was unmoved. "Damion wouldn't have known. Eventide only knew because she got on the topic of ice and fire being enemies. She only knew I didn't like ice phoenix's nothing more." She looked at Jaedon. "And you know nothing more than what she did. That is how I intend to leave it."

It was true. Miriel was very tight lipped about this part of her past. She had never told specifics to anyone and she didn't plan to. It wasn't that she had a dark past, like Jaedon or Neron, but because it hurt so much. Jaedon had no knowledge of this and Miriel wouldn't blame her if she took the past for being some deep dark secret that stained Miriel. Instead, if Jaedon ever found out, she would see something totally different.

[saerwen]

Jaedon just listened and then sighed as she heard Miriel's response. She wasn't going to budge, bu Jaedon wasn't really happy about that. Miriel knew everyone else's history, or most of it, so why was it that Jaedon couldn't know jsut a few bits and pieces. The only reason for hiding something like that was if one was foudn guilty of something. It might ahve been a large jump, but it was a fairly accurate conclusion most of the time, so what was to stop her from thinking the same thing now. Jaedon shook her head and tried with all of her might to hide her annoyance.

"Yes, Miriel, I have known you for a long time and while these past few years have been all fine and dandy, I have asked you more than once about your past. You always get away with beating around the bush, but this is getting to be a bit ridiculous you know. I would think that I deserve at least a few answers. I suppose that you don't see it that way, and probably never will, but it is true. I am just asking for the last time."

Jaedon was being very serious. She was asking for the last time because she knew that Miriel would never tell her of her own free will so Jaedon was going to steal it. She began to use her powers to pry into Miriel's mind. It wasn't hard because the poor girl was in such a frantic state. Her defenses were low, and Jaedon had an easier time of masking her presence. It was hard not to just jump right into everything, because Miriel would then know that Jaedon was there and she might even be able to get rid of her. She wanted to stay there and find some answers. When Miriel figured out that she was there, Jaedon would already be deep enough to find at least a few good memories. She could start with those and then go deeper. Once she got to Miriel's memories, she knew that Miriel would have a hard time keeping her out or kicking her out. She reached her destination quickly and prepared herself to see Miriel's past. She was sure that some parts were not going to be as flowery as one might think for such a sweet, tender-hearted person.

[»Míríel«]

Miriel shook her head, brows furrowed. She had said no to Jaedon, just as Jaedon had suspected. "No Jaedon, I can't. I'm sorry." She was getting frustrated at Jaedon trying to burrow into her past and find things out, why couldn't she just let them be?

Little did she realize that Jaedon was in her mind, and how easy it had been for Jaedon. Usually Miriel's most private thoughts were protected with a raging fiery wall, one that would consume anyone who dared enter to closely. Lately though she had forgotten about it, and her walls grew weaker and weaker, until there were holes. So Jaedon's pathway had been pretty easy and the memories that Miriel was trying to hide soon would be blossoming before her eyes.

Blossom they did. Jaedon probably saw the picture of two phoenix's playing together, one ice, the other fire. Miriel, of course was the fire, the other was a male phoenix. Laughter filled the air as the two teased each other. At this age Miriel had been fiery, bright and perky and the purest innocence filled her. The other phoenix seemed gentle but there was something else about him, a protectiveness, an intense love for those he cared about. Then Jaedon would have seen an older, larger phoenix approach and call the boy away, looking a bit perturbed at seeing the two together. It had been their first meeting and not their last. A few memories flashed by, them sneaking out to see each other, and each learning about each other. It was Miriel's first time in contact with a being of ice and she learned to keep her temperature down, while he learned not to make things to cold. There was something about these memories that had a brightness about them, showing that Miriel treasured them.

If Jaedon pressed further she would have seen the light in the memories grow darker as a sadness could be felt. It was slight at first, but grew with each picture, each memory. There was a fight going on, one with her mom and dad against her. They were warning her, telling her that the ice phoenix's were very dangerous and would want to kill her. After all she was the the daughter of one of the most powerful phoenix, one who the ice phoenix's wanted to get rid of. At first Miriel fought back, but then seeing it useless she gave in. Then there was some discussion about her being careful of male phoenix's. Both had heard a rumor that she was seeing one from the other side, a boy phoenix, and one that didn't have a high social status. The memory was faded and fussy, showing she hadn't been paying much attention when these words were spoken.

The next scene showed Miriel sneaking out to see her friend once more. The two chatted about the war that was happening and both hoped that neither would have to fight one another. It was night and the two decided to race, flying. the boy won and he rubbed it in with Miriel. She in turn, flew into him playfully and pinned him on the ground teasing him asking him who had the upper hand now. What they hadn't realized was the presence of the boy's older brother, hwo had just seen Miriel jump on his brother. In retaliation the older brother swarmed down upon Miriel attacking her, while the younger tried to pull the older off. It was this time also that Miriel's mother, who had been looking for Miriel came to the scene. She saw two ice phoenix's "attacking" Miriel. So getting in a rage she swarmed the two and threw off the older brother and the younger. Miriel screamed trying to get her to stop, but it was to late, her mother was in full rage mode. Her and the older brother got into a spat and it ended up with the older brother dying after the mother had hit him in the chest with her beak. The younger was unconscious on the ground, and so the two fire phoenix's left.

Miriel didn't answer any questions on the way back and put them off, letting her mother tell the story and only expounding on it. A couple days past before she once again snuck out to the meeting place, no one showed up. A week passed, then the boy showed up. HE was much changed, being bitter and harsh. His brother had not been able to have a rebirth due to the way he had died, he was dead and he blamed Miriel. It was there that he turned against Miriel and shattered her heart. Miriel had loved the ice phoenix, actually, truly loved him.

A year passed, and then another. The war was still raging strong. Many phoenix's had died, Miriel had been mercifully spared from the fighting because of her youth. Miriel was supposed to meet her mother by a lake, for she was returning from the battle front. When Miriel arrived she saw her mother locked in combat with an ice phoenix. To her horror she recognized the attack, her past love. Both of them plummeted into the lake, grappling together, only the ice phoenix surfaced. He looked at her, screeched in anger but flew off. Her mother's body washed upon the shore, the flame was out and life had been taken from her. Due to not being able to burn herself, she had died, never to be reborn again. This is where Miriel's fear of water had come.

Hatred filled the memory, along with a deep sadness. She had lost her mother, her sister, and her friends to this ice phoenix. That was when she knew that she would have revenge sometime, someday she would pay back that boy who had broken her heart, and killed her family. There had been rumors that he had died, he had turned out to be the ice phoenix's best fighters, but it was never confirmed. A strange thing that Jaedon might pick up on was that Miriel's father was harsh, cruel in the memories, her mother had been cool in his presence, but warm in Miriels. Both were over protective of their girl, too over protective.

Miriel suddenly grew aware of Jaedon's presence in her mind. Her eyes were alive with betrayal and anger. Flame erupted throughout her mind, the barriers were being replenished. "Jaedon! How could you?! Why?! " Her voice echoed in her head. "Get out! Get out I say! " Miriel was hunched over, hand over head, eyes tightly shut. No the memories, no. They were coming back, they were coming....her eyes filled with tears as her teeth clenched. "GET OUT!"

[saerwen]

Jaedon was amazed at what she saw. No wonder Miriel was angry at the ice phoenix's. She had always known that fire and ice never mixed well, but this went a little bit overboard. It was like Miriel's hatred was simply pushed onward by her memories of that phoenix. She had felt such tenderness for him at one time, but he had hurt her so badly. Jaedon didn't know what it was like to have a lover betray you, but she knew what it was like to have someone that you loved and depended on to betray you. Miriel had obviously changed so much from those days. She was so different that it was almost impossible to imagine that she had been the little fiery phoenix from her memories.

However, there was one thing that stuck out to Jaedon. Miriel didn't seem to have any happy memories of her father. He was a very harsh man, very cold. It was like both of her parents had been more of a preventative measure than a caring pair of lovers. It made Jaedon wonder why Miriel had gotten so angry when she had killed her father. Perhaps it was something that Jaedon would never understand, since she had never had parents, but it just didn't seem to add up to her.

despite how much she wanted to ask Miriel, she knew that this was not going to be the time. Miriel had found her presence and it wasn't long before Jaedon felt fire popping up all around her. It started to bite at her and scare her out. She wanted to get away from it, and away she went. She knew that Miriel was angry with her for snooping around, but she had really not had many other choices.

"Don't ask me why, you know why," Jaedon said in a firm tone when she was out of Miriel's mind, "I didn it because you wouldn't tell me anything yourself. What was I supposed to do? Let it pass again? No! This has gotten out of hand Miriel. You won't tell anyone anything, so if you won't fess up then I'll just go deeper. It's not like you couldn't have expected it. If you want to, go ahead and make me the bad guy in this situation. I did it, I admit it. I did it because I am sick of you telling little white lies and bypasisng questions. So there you go. Get angry if you want."

[»Míríel«]

Miriel clenched her fists, eyes were brimming with tears, in face a few fell from those green depths. "You had no right to trespass on those memories and you had no right to know!" She shook with anger, her nerves were being grated and they were already raw. "Just because you can't or aren't allowed something Jaedon doesn't mean you have to push your way through until you get it. You are the bad guy, you are. Don't you understand there are some thing that people don't want you to see? That part of my life was mine, not yours. BUt no, you have to weasel your way in and see peer through just because you can! This is my life.." Tears were streaming down her face now, "MINE! I only heard your past because when I asked you told me. The parts you left out I never pressed. NEVER!" Her fists were balled and her face was now white with anger.

Holding up a shaking hand she took a step back from Jaedon. "Just leave me alone Jaedon. Go bother someone else." Miriel glared at Jaedon. She was getting close to shifting forms. To be truthful she was worried about repeating what she had done to eventide to Jaedon. Her foot took another step back as her eyes grew wide with realization of how close she was to fighting. "No, no I will go away. I was leaving here anyways." Her body temperature was rising fast. "Some things Jaedon are best left alone." Her voice was chilling for someone so fiery, "Do not say I have crossed the line when you instead have." She turned, very voice low, "This time Jaedon, don't you dare try and follow me. I don't want you near me right now." With that she ran, she had to get away from Jaedon. If she didn't she would fight and she knew it. It was only a couple feet until she lost control of her skin. Her wings lifted her form and before long her blazing form had become nothing but a speck on the horizon.

[saerwen]

Jaedon had figured that something like this was going to happen. She knew that treading on Miriel's memories would make her angry. However, Jaedon didn't really understand why. It was nothing gruesome, nothing horrible. It was just a sad story about a friend betraying her. Jaedon had known that something like that had happened to everyone, but Miriel was hiding it like it was the worst truth of her life. Jaedon almost wondered if Miriel wasn't so scared about that past coming out as to another coming out. It made her curious, but she wouldn't go searching for it until she had to or until Miriel was finally willing to reveal it. Until then, she would be content with what she knew now. At least she would be able to tell Damion that Miriel was alright and where to look for her when he got better, which would be a few more days. She just hoped that Damion could convince Miriel that everything was alright and that she didn't have to feel guilty anymore. With these thoughts filling her mind for the walk back, Jaedon turned and left the cove.

THE END