Breathtaking

[saerwen]

Jaedon was tempted to back away as he drew closer to her, but she decided to just stare him down. "You might be surprised, lizard-boy. I can be pretty hard to catch sometimes."

Jaedon gave a nod of acknowledgement, "Yes, that is true. I guess that means that both of us will be living in anticipation of when the other will strike next and what on earth they will do. At least life will never be dull for either of us."

There was a small part of Jaedon that wanted to take offense at what Neron said, as though he was implying that she lied often, but then she realized that she did. Unknowingly, she gave a blush of shame as she realized that in their relationship, she was generally the only one that lied. It was almost characteristic for her. A Jaedon that didn't lie wouldn't be Jaedon at all. Her cheeks flamed as she thought. How was she ever going to change that habit? If she wanted to get any closer to Neron, she was going to have to start telling the truth more than she told lies. But before she could do either of those, she would have to get rid of her pride. She looked down at the little pebbles in the water beneath her feet. What a horrible person for Neron to have fallen in love with. But she was determined to change.

Jaedon threw her hands up in front of her face as she turned her head away to avoid getting water on it. She gave a slight squeal as the cool water met with her skin. Just then, as though to support Neron's act, the wind blew past her, sweeping her hair to the side violently, causing a shudder to run down her spine due to the cold water that was now splashed in little bits all over she clothes. She heaved a sigh and wrapped her arms around herself in a failing attempt to keep out the wind.

"See? Revenge! It always comes at some point in time," Jaedon shook her head. "What on earth did I do to make you sour at me this time? I believe I am making a habit of doing that. Or else you are just fickle."

[»Míríel«]

Neron just smiled at her playfully. "I have a pretty big foot."

"At least we won't like a boring life."

Neron looked curiously at Jaedon. Why were her cheeks rosy? A unconscious smile came to his lips. Whatever the reason he liked it when she blushed. He didn't know why. Perhaps because it made her eyes sparkle more with the contrast of green and red, or perhaps it was the color it brought forth. He shook his head slightly and the smile faded somewhat, though the corners of his mouth were still tilted upward.

When Neron submerged he shook his head to clear off the excess water and smoothed it back. " Of course it does Jaedon." He smirked. "We could start with pushing me in the water." He then laughed at her. IT was his rare, deep and rolling laugh. "Now if you will excuse me." He pulled himself out of the water, dripping in the cold and soaked from head to toe. HE turned and disappeared into the woods. At first it would seem like he had just left to never return. Which he did very often. It was his signature exit you could say. But with his violin still in the case, not to far away, but far enough to avoid the water, one would soon realize that he was coming back.

Minutes passed before he came back, with arms laden with wood. Silently he started putting them on the ground. It was apparent, even though he hid it well, that he was cold. The clothes, though no longer dripping as much, were cold from the water. His arms were covered with bumps and his hands were clumsier than usual. Sitting down he leaned towards the wood, closed his eyes for a moment and breathed on the tepee like formation, hiding his face from her view. Immediately the wood responded and a hearty blaze soon shed its warmth and light. Getting up once more be brought his violin closer to the fire, making sure it wasn't to close to the fire or the water, and sat down once more. His eyes stared into the blaze. Even though there was no longer a smile on his lips, his eyes glowed brightly with one. Fire, how he loved it. Holding out his hands to the fire he enjoyed the warmth it brought, and how it pierced the cold. Still, with all the wet clothes he had on at the moment he knew it would take much longer to dry.

[saerwen]

"It must be hard to cram such a big foot into your mouth, yet you do it so often. I can't tell whether or not I should be impressed," Jaedon gave a look that conveyed that she was still joking around with him. If anyone stuck their foot in their mouth it was Jaedon.

Jaedon gave a smile as Neron laughed. She liked to hear him laugh, even if he was laughing at her. She hoped that she never lost the ability to make him laugh. "I suppose that is cause for being a little bit sour," Jaedon consented. "At least you didn't overreact and pull me in."

When Neron ran off Jaedon gave a confused and dazed look in his direction as she watched his form disappear into the woods. "Neron?" she called after him. She was about to get up and go after him when she saw his violin case still sitting on the ground. She knew that Neron would never have forgotten his violin, so she figured that he must be coming back. However, it was strange how he had just run off. She was wondering what he was doing.

As she waited for Neron to come back, she sat and thought, a dangerous thing for Jaedon, of all people, to be doing. Many things came and went in her mind, but one thing stayed. It had been at the back of her mind for a while and she had been pushing it back in the hopes that if she ignored it, she would never have to face the pain that it might bring. But as she looked upon it now, she realized that soon there would be no more running, there would only be uncertainty and pain.

When Neron came back, Jaedon watched as he arranged the fire and then carefully lit the wood so that it carried a strong flame. Jaedon didn't really like open flame that much, but right now, as the wind continued to blow gently, just enough to make one shiver, she felt that the flame was more welcome than it would have been in a different situation. She scooted a little closer to it, giving Neron a smile. He was so sweet to her. No doubt he had seen her shaking and knew that by the end of things, they would both be cold. He had frozen himself just to ensure that she was warm.

At first, Jaedon didn't really want to break the silence that had come between them. It was comfortable and even comforting in some ways, but she knew that her previous thoughts would only weigh her heart down from that moment on, and there would be few chances like this where she and Neron had plenty of time alone to talk, so she broke the silence again, but very quietly. It would have been obvious to Neron that she had been thinking about this for a long time, "Neron, do you think about the future? And if you do, what kinds of things do you think about?" Jaedon had pulled her feet from the water and tucked them under her. She now had her eyes pinned to the ground, fingers tracing nonsensical patterns in the sand.

[»Míríel«]

Neron smiled crookedly, "It can be sometimes. You can probably relate" When she talked about him overreacting Neron let his smile fade to a smirk. "The thought crossed my mind. I thought it would be ungentlemanly." His eyes danced with laughter.

The silence, besides the crackling of the fire, was music to his ears. Especially with the light turning golden by the setting sun. Right now he was enjoying the minimalistic sensations. Warmth, how wonderful it was, yet how it still managed to bring discomfort with a cold shirt, and heat on the outside. Heat wouldn't seep in, until it dried from the outside inward, even as he sat there his back was just as wet as before. He wouldn't think of removing his shirt though. Not with Jaedon here. All the scars, even though she had seen them he felt embarrassed by their presence. They were outer signs of inner struggle, and of his past.

Once JAedon's voice came over the quiet Neron let his gaze lift from the fire to her face and then let it drift back down. The future. Silence spread between them once more. It was obvious that JAedon had been thinking about this. Why? "Sometimes." He picked up a stick and idly poked the fire. "I plan on living life. Experiencing new things. Living it to the fullest." His eyes focused on the fire and the flames seemed to grow denser, if that is possible. "I'm not sure what that means, but I plan on figuring that out soon." He pushed his hand through his half dry hair. The attempt to smooth it out and get it out of his face was a failure, and it only left some hair stick out at an odd angle, while others, the dry strands, fall right back into his eyes. His gaze lifted, "What about you?"

[saerwen]

Jaedon just smiled and said, "Well, actually it is easier for me since my foot isn't so big." Had she really just admitted defeat? No, at least not in her mind. She had just found a middle ground that they could both agree on.

"You and that gentleman thing. It's going to ruin a lot of fun for you, although it's a wonderful excuse for other things," Jaedon sighed. She wasn't going to try telling him that the excuse was void, but she made it obvious she didn't accept it.

Jaedon continued to study the ground. Living life to the fullest? Jaedon didn't know what that would look like, either. Perhaps if she just started after it, she would find it. There had to be something that defined why they were alive, but she couldn't really figure it out. Right now, all she could see was her past and wonder how she would leave that behind her. What people often said about her was true, she didn't know how to do anything but kill. Was there anywhere that she could go where her skill of killing would be useful? Surely not. And even so, would she want that kind of life? She didn't want to hurt people anymore, but when that is the only thing you are skilled at, it seems as though the world has been cornered in. Jaedon knew that she couldn't live a life of idleness. Already she was becoming restless, seeking something better to do, but she simply hadn't found any options. She had considered that she was looking at things the wrong way, but she had never really been able to go down any other paths.

When Neron asked her what she thought of about the future, Jaedon stopped her hands, which had still been messing around in the dirt. She looked at the fire, a thing that she generally didn't like to do, and studied it for a moment before answering, "I don't really know, Neron. I have had so many possibilities run through my mind that it is kind of hard to sort through them all. I want to live, and I want to be happy. But Neron," she paused for a moment and looked up at him, "I know that I certainly don't want to cause anymore pain." She then bowed her head and waited a moment before continuing, "I can't help but think about something that you said to me when the black dragon was in control." It was obvious she was slightly uncomfortable saying it, probably because the idea had hardly ever been voiced before. She managed to raise her eyes to his as she spoke again, "Neron, I love you and I don't want to be the cause of your pain anymore, and selfishly, I think I would rather die than have to spend my life apart from you, but that is the catch. You are immortal, and I am not. Say what you might about your other side, it is still a part of you and I know that it was voicing a worry that you have already had. One day, I will die, from old age or from something else, and if we continue with our relationship, I know it would only hurt you in the end. What I can't decide is whether it would be more painful to leave now, or to part later."

[»Míríel«]

"True, and your mouth is so large. No wonder you do it so often." He smirked at her.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't think that I will let it ruin my fun. I'll just drop it every once in a while."

Neron had been observing her face. Even though it was tilted downward, concentrating on whatever she was drawing in the dirt, there was something about it. She was thinking deeply about something and it was beginning to draw his curiosity. Knowing her character, Neron was wiser than to ask, doing so would frighten her away from the subject and never be brought up again. If she wanted to tell him, she would. Perhaps she would start dropping all the secrets she held and start talking.

Neron wasn't really expecting what was coming, on many levels. "Jaedon." His voice was pleading. For some reason he couldn't continue. Was he delighted, or frightened by her confession? He couldn't answer. His gaze lowered and he turned to the side and opened the case of the violin. Pulling it out he studied the surface and traced the wood with his fingers. "A violin is a really intriguing instrument. It holds such beauty and elegance, but is totally useless unless treated right. Every violin has a different sound, no two are alike." His fingers twisted the tuning pegs. "Sometimes when they are not taken care of pieces get ruined, the surface is scratched, the strings are undone. and broken." He plucked a string and a sour note filled the air. Neron winced unconsciously. "It is out of tune and can only make the sound of the ugliness.' He shrugged. "Many would throw the violin out, because it lost its tune, and didn't know the talent of tuning it again or they would pay money to get someone to make it useful again." His eyes glanced at Jaedon for a moment before he continued. " You know it is funny, the most expensive violins aren't all polished and perfect, usually they are the ones with the grains of the wood showing, the imperfections give beauty." Now he looked at her. "I love this violin Jaedon. It takes hard work to keep her in tune and I know that the slightest thing could ruin her. As much as I care for her, I know that she will, in time, be destroyed. It's my job to keep that from happening as long as I can." His face was serious in the firelight. "Even after this instrument is gone. I would never regret not having it. All I know is that my life was made bearable with it. You are like my violin Jaedon."

His eyes dropped to the fire. "You do not cause me pain, being without you does. You see we are cursed, the two of us. Whether you die first from age, or I do from a battle, one of us will have to suffer a broken heart. Perhaps we shouldn't focus on the ending, but on the moments we have together."

[saerwen]

Jaedon raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? I would think yours would be bigger than mine." That part was true, even though it was simply because of their proportions.

"Oh, but you know that it isn't nearly as credible when you don't do it all of the time. True gentlemen are consistent."

Jaedon was really confused when he started talking about his violin. How did that have anything to do with what she had said? She sat and listened, wondering if there was a point to what he was saying. Neron didn't usually just switch the subject and then ramble. In fact, it was strange for him to speak in such a long-winded way. However, in the end, Jaedon understood what Neron had been going for. She felt like her heart was melting. Neron was so sweet, sometimes she wondered how in the world the black dragon could ever have survived inside of him, or even existed at all when he had so much potential for good. It was a lot like on the day of Miriel and Damion's wedding, when he had acted so gallant and extravagant towards her. She never would have imagined that could come from her Neron, but it had, and now that she saw it from both sides of the spectrum she realized that in his own way, Neron could pull off the suave, confident dream boat look and the sweet, gentle prince look as well, both in their own time and place. For a moment, she began to wonder what all he was hiding inside himself, and just how sentimental he could be, but she knew that it would be no fun if it came out in the open all at once.

For Jaedon, being compared to that violin was the greatest compliment that Neron could have given her. She hadn't noticed, but a small little tear had come to her eye and already fallen down her cheek. It was good to hear Neron speak to her like that, especially after having to deal with his other side for so long. She felt a blush rise high into her cheeks and she looked down as a smile tugged at her lips, not quite coming to full bloom, but very close.

Jaedon looked at Neron, her eyes shining. She spoke quietly, "I am starting to believe what you said about being more charming than you appear at first." She then continued on a little stronger, her voice doubtful, "Then you would rather go with the possibility of having a broken heart than of finding some other girl? Some other girl without as many problems as me, without as much of an attitude problem as me? Even though one day I am certainly not going to look as good as I do now?"

She then thought about something and randomly perked up and asked, "What would you focus on in regards to good moments we have had together?" She had never really thought about that. The first image that popped into her head was Neron when he was wearing those really nice clothes for the wedding, but that was quickly disqualified when she remembered what he had been saying to her. The image was nice, but the actual memory wasn't. She then remembered the first time that he had ever kissed her, after she had rather disgracefully used Zak as a jealousy tool. That was definitely one of her favorite memories. Her cheeks went red just remembering it.

[»Míríel«]

"No. I talk less."

"I didn't say true gentleman, just gentleman."

Neron smirked at her when he mentioned him being more charming than before. Then his smile faded. "I learned how to get what I wanted. I was a different person when I was younger." He stared moodily into the fire for a bit as the rest came out of her. A look of confusion showed in his eyes as to what she said. Lifting his gaze he looked her in the eye "Why would I do that?" Looking at the blush that had formed on her cheeks he studied her face for a bit, eyes tracing down the path of the tear, studying the beauty of her features, and getting acclimated to her new hair. Ideally he would have put off everything with a word or two, maybe a sentence, but he felt like he needed to explain. Jaedon didn't seem to understand him, and whatever her reasons for her doubts, whether in the past or worry for the future, he had to get rid of the muddy waters.

Looking her straight in the eye he finally continued. "I love you Jaedon. Doesn't that say something? Surely you know that when I become friends with someone my relationship lasts. I know the feeling of heartbreak. Though at first I thought the whole relationship was useless, I took something from it, and I have learned to enjoy the memory of it." NEron didn't understand Jaedon's insecurity on looks part. A sense of disbelief crawled into his voice, "Jaedon you are beautiful. I wonder more of why you would love someone like me. Though it was your looks that captured my attention at first, it is your personality that has held it on you." His lips twitched, "Though, if you are really worried about looks, my little witch, I am sure you can use some sort of spell to help that."

As for the good moments Neron's smirk deepened, "Oh I think when your cheeks were as red as your skirt is a good place to start. You know your cheeks are almost that red now."

[saerwen]

Jaedon saw the reaction Neron had to her questions. At first she was confused by him as well and then she realized, as he continued to talk, what had confused him so. Time after time he had reassured her that he loved her, through actions and words. He had endured tormenting pain simply to prove to her that he loved her. She must have seemed distrusting and heartless to him for asking such unreservedly doubtful questions. She thought back to what he had said not long ago about her having trust issues. It was true. She did have trust issues. Sometimes she wondered if it was simply because things seemed to be too good to be true, and she just wanted to make extra sure that they were real. Other times she knew exactly what the problem was. There were ghosts that would always be chasing her, always following her steps, and she knew that she would never get them to leave her alone.

She simply nodded at him, showing that she understood him, but she didn't say anything. After looking at the flames a little longer, Jaedon looked up at Neron, "I am sorry, Neron. I must seem completely heartless to you. I know that you love me. You have proved that to me over and over again. But there will always be a part of me that wonders whether all of the good things are true. You asked why I thought you might have left me for a different woman. The simple truth is that I have had enough experience in that area to know that is an all too possible alternative for most men." Jaedon looked down. For once in her life, she was actually explaining something that had to do with her. She rarely did that, and even more rarely did she actually tell the truth. But she was determined not to tell Neron anymore lies. "I have had men look at me like a piece of meat for too long. They would itemize me as I walked past, lust after me as I walked away. Eventually I learned to use that against men, but it always felt terrible, and I always came away with disgust for not only myself but for them. I guess it is hard for me to really trust men when I have realized so many times before that they simply want you for your body and then they will cast you off for the next dame with a chest and nice curves." She then paused to gather her thoughts before starting again, "One time, I got curious because I had heard other women on the streets talking about how much power women could hold over men because of their body, so I got curious and I read a guys mind that was sitting in a bar watching a model on TV." She shook her head, "That was the most terrifying image I had ever seen of any woman, let alone myself. The thought of someone looking at me like that makes my skin crawl." She then sat back, "I guess the point is that I am scared. I am scared of making the same mistake my mother did, scared that one day, I will be alone. I have been there before and I never want to be back there again. It's like tasting a fine wine, after tasting the better you are repulsed by the other. My heart knows you won't leave me, Neron, but my mind continually tells me there is no way you would stay. Maybe one day my heart will win over my head, but right now, it is still a fight." She could offer no other explanation to Neron, and no other hope that her fear would ever change.

Jaedon put one hand on her cheek, "Must be the fire," she muttered. "Why do you get so much enjoyment out of that?" Jaedon asked in an agitated way. Did he just like seeing her uncomfortable?

[»Míríel«]

Neron listened to her outpouring of her heart. It was pleasing but painful as the same time. Pleasing in the sense that she trusted him enough to tell him, yet painful to see what she held in her mind. She needed to get it all out. Neron know that from experience. "NOt heartless, just curious." He sighed and stood up, turning his back to the fire as he processed everything and let his mind figure out what to say.

It was a hard world out there for men and women both. Men had a hard time keeping their eyes and thoughts to themselves, and women for being treated like an item. Neither parties were completely right nor wrong, both just needed control. Neron had run into plenty of girls who lusted for men in almost the same way men lusted after woman. It had disgusted him. HE hoped Jaedon didn't think of him as acting like the men in her past. No matter what she thought, Neron knew he still loved her, and the only way he could prove it was to continue to do so.

"Why do you think I don't call you darling, and honey? I have seen to many men utter that to their one-night lovers or in fits of passion. It's universal, a cheap trick to get a girl. I prefer names that only the one I love understands." He looked out at the darkness that pretty much covered everything now. The sky was still red with the setting sun, but it was fading quickly. Suddenly he turned on his heels and walked over to Jaedon. "Perhaps." He lowered himself beside her. "I can convince your mind in one way." He reached out gently and stroked the side of her face. "By allowing your heart to speak more clearly." His fingers reached the base of her chin. Tilting it upward so her face looked upwards towards him. There was a look of gentleness on his face that was rarely ever seen. His eyes seemed warm, and with the reflected firelight, they seemed to churn with emotion. With his other hand he pushed back the hair and leaning down pressed his lips on her forehead. He let the kiss linger for a moment before straightening up.

Smiling down at her with eyes full of love he answered her last question. "Because it lights up your face and makes your eyes sparkle like never before. Plus your embarrassment reveals a gentler and more open side then you let show otherwise. It's when your inner beauty shines the clearest. "

[saerwen]

Jaedon had always wondered why Neron didn't call her by those usual terms of endearment. At first she would have preferred those to his little made up pet names, but after hearing him explain his reasoning, it made her like them all the more. The annoying thing was the way in which she got those names, but she had to admit that being the only one he called by thoes names made them special to her. She thought about Damion and how he always said "my dear" to girls that he met from sheer habit, but he never called them anything else. He reserved those other named like darling for Miriel alone now. She had never realized the significance of these little things until now.

Jaedons green eyes studied Neron as he spoke and came closer to her. What was he thinking of? She couldn't help but give a little smile at his touch, which was as gentle as always. Jaedon found herself no longer envious of the violin, but fully jealous. Now that she had experienced Neron's gentle touch, she realized that she wanted him to touch only her that way, but she had to rationalize these thoughts by reminding herself that the violin needed just as much attention as she did and that it would be unfair to Neron to demand so much.

After Neron had pulled away from her after kissing her, Jaedon looked up at him and asked, "How would you presume to do that?" She was speaking more to herself than to him though, in the background of her question. She always trapped everything that was in her heart in her head and let it steep there before it ever came out of her mouth. She still had that habit of weeding through what she wanted to say and picking out the wicked secrets that she wanted to stay hidden, pulling all of her innermost thoughts into herself so that she never gave anyone anything that might show her to be weak. She always had to be strong, she always had to be one step ahead of everyone else. But if someone could take those mantles for her, then she might be free. She looked at Neron with a strange glimmer in her eyes. She had heard Miriel talking about Damion, and she knew that in a relationship like that, the husband was the wife's protector. A small part of Jaedon's mind told her that she would never find anyone that could take care of her, but there was another part of her mind that told her she had already found just such a person. Her hand reached out and took Neron's hand in her own. She gave Neron a strange look and said, "If I could picture my heart in any way, it would be trapped inside a cage, and the key would have been thrown into the bottom of the nearest lake. It's not likely I will actually start listening to my feelings anytime soon."

Jaedon gave Neron a sour look, "So what you are saying is that it makes me look vulnerable, and you like it. Vulnerability is completely against what I am." She was almost pouting now.

[»Míríel«]

It was obvious that Jaedon enjoyed his caresses, but when she spoke he just looked at her silently. Was he not clear? He had hoped that his kind words and gentle touch would bring out her heart, let it's feelings become clearer for Jaedon to understand, but it was obvious that it only brought out the logical side of her. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism that she had built in. "I'll find a way." He meant every word he said, he just hoped he could find a way. Unlike Jaedon he could not look into others minds and see their inter workings. It was impossible for him to see beyond trying to correctly read the reactions. Anger was so much easier, there were tell-tale signs that you were getting on someone's nerves. He had much more experience in that area.

"Then it is a good thing I don't mind swimming." Neron's smile twisted slightly into a smirk. The smirk soon disappeared when she gave her last comment. Instead it relaxed into the normal stoic mask. "Why do you twist words? You know what I mean. Vulnerability is a weakness, not a beauty. " He left her side and walked around the fire and sat across from her. His eyes were moody as he gazed into the depths. The flames were starting to die, for they had feasted on the wood and found the once laden table, crumbling and empty. Wit ha quick movement he tossed another log on the fire, sending a shower of sparks upward. The specks of glowing shards spiraled and churned in the air. "You are vulnerable Jaedon, as much as you hate to admit it. You have weakness's just like us all. Stop trying to hide it." He hadn't meant for his words to be harsh, but they may have come across that way. "It only makes you blind and bitter and your heart dries and hardens within." Neron ran his fingers through his hair as he lowered his head almost to his knees in a sign of exasperation.

He had been on the verge of proposing, she seemed so open to him. Sure he hadn't planned a special outing, or even had a blasted ring, but it had felt right. Now he was glad it hadn't gone as he had planned. Perhaps the very thought of it had been a strange reaction to being with her and the openness she was showing him. It was now apparent to him that now was not the time, she wasn't ready for it. He wasn't even prepared for it. The worst thing they could do was get married.

Who was he kidding anyways, him married? How had he even learned to love? Everything he had come close to in life had died, everything. Jaedon would just be a repeat of this. Two things would happen, either she would die after the engagement or wedding, or he would. That is how his luck worked. "Perhaps you should take your own advice and enjoy every minute." His fingers bit into his scalp, Jaedon wouldn't have been able to tell. He couldn't be happy never asking her to be his wife, but he could not be happy if any harm came to her? Could he take the risk and try to break his luck, putting her life on the line? "Blasted Luck." He didn't realize he had mumbled that a loud. The only good thing about this is that he didn't have to face this right now, neither of them were ready, just yet.

[saerwen]

There was a part of Jaedon that wanted to believe that Neron was telling the truth, that he really could find a way to help her, but for some reason she almost knew that this was something that she alone would have to fix. It was an entirely different way of thinking, and though she had begun the journey, she was no where near the end. And until she found her way to the end she was going to need all of the love and support that Neron could give. If he could do that for her, she knew that she would learn to think differently and she would learn to tell the truth, to speak what she really felt, and to show Neron even the darkest parts of her heart.

Jaedon was more than slightly disappointed when Neron walked away. She had enjoyed him being a little closer to her. After all, she had been without the regular him for a while. It would have been nice to have time to spend close to him, but she supposed that for now, she would have to be content with being able to talk to him. Jaedon's head jerked back and she screwed up her face as she listened to Neron. He was mad at her now. What had she said? What had she done? She had simply been stating the truth, however, Neron was stating a more important truth. Jaedon was lying to herself.

She stared at Neron for a while, thinking very seriously about what he said before replying, "Tell me something, Neron, why is it that you have to wear your heart on your sleeve before people start to trust you? Why can't you be strong? What is wrong with being confident and assured?" Jaedon shook her head and continued, "I know that I have weaknesses, Neron, but I see no reason to flaunt them to everyone else. Why is that so important? It seems the fastest way to getting hurt to me. What is wrong with trying to protect myself from harm? I thought that would be common sense, a good thing." She really didn't get it. She knew that trust was built on a mutual belief that the other was only looking out for you, that they would never betray you. She knew that to be true of Neron, and she hoped that Neron knew that was true of her. She knew that was true of Miriel and Damion, and she hoped that they both knew that was true of her. But if they didn't, what was the reason? Was it because she had lied to them so many times before? She could have understood that. If it was because was not able to admit her weaknesses, then what would the reason be for that? Why would they demand such a thing? Why would they demand to see her weakened, to see her fail? No friend would want that, and she knew that was not true. If that was not what they wanted from her, then what was required? Why did Neron say that it withered her heart? She was only trying to guard it. Had she really perverted her purposes so much that she was no longer protecting herself? And if so, how did it happen, and how could she protect herself in an effective way that didn't require her to show her faults to the world?

Jaedon heard him muttering and cocked her head to the side, "What do you mean, 'Blasted luck'? What has your luck done to you now?"

[»Míríel«]

"You don't." He let his eyes look into hers for a couple seconds before sliding them to the fire. "It's just nice to know it's there." He tossed another log on the fire and watched as the greedy flames leaped at it gleefully and began working away at the surface. "You can still be confident and assured, Look at Damion, look at Miriel. If you don't ever show you have a heart, people will treat you like you have one. Before long you will be convinced that you don't have one."

"I believe we both have been lucky in having friends who are willing to give everything and not expect anything in return. They admitted and revealed themselves to us because they trusted us. The only thing we can do is return the favor. " He shrugged. Absently he reached out to the fire that was before him, the flame seemed to stand up and turn away from the wood. Slowly it arched towards his hand, the closest to him shifted to green. From the tip of the arching flame fell a little green droplet. While the rest of the flame returned to it's feast, the little droplet seemed to crawl around his hand, in between his fingers, like a little bug. Neron's eyes seemed different, a pure green color, like a spring leaf. The dark brooding green they usually were was no longer. His head bowed until the black hair hung over the eyes, with only a bit of green showing through. "Once I saw dog, chained to a stake, away from human touch. All it was given was a piece of meat on a bone thrown to it every day. The flame in his hand turned took on the shape of a dog and rested in the palm of his hand. "IT grew hostile to those about it. With my hatred of the humans welling in my heart I killed his owners, feasting on their flesh and released the dog. He had lifted his other hand and a burst of flame leaped out and took the form of a little dragon. It swooped into his other palm and released the chained dog. Neron's hands were now scale-like, protecting the flammable skin from harm. "The dog had lost all sense of friend and foe, everyone was an enemy, it took months before it would even let me near it in human form. " The figures in his hands meshed together, becoming an orb. Now bringing his hand close to the campfire he left the fire roll back into the bigger mass.

Neron was quiet for a moment as his head remained bowed, his eyes were on his hands now. His fingers curled into fists and shoot slightly as his eyes closed. Slowly they shifted back to humans. "Do not chain up your heart and leave it without love, without showing and revealing it to others. Protect it with the protection it needs, but let it breathe. Let it feel." It seemed like he was no longer talking to her, but seemed to be talking to himself. Standing up abruptly and turning from her he looked into the darkness that now surrounded them. His eyes had returned to normal and they had a slight glaze over them, though Jaedon couldn't see.

"My luck has done everything to me." His answer was short and closed, it was obvious he wasn't going to answer any further questions on it. "I should go. Night calls." YEs, perhaps a flight through the night air would clear his head a bit. To be alone with the stars above and to feel the wind under his wings. He longed for it.

[saerwen]

Jaedon raised an eyebrow at Neron as she listened to him. She could see his point. For so long she had told herself that she didn't have a heart and that she didn't need one, but now...now her heart would not be silenced. She loved Neron. Right now that was the only thing that kept her feelings and emotions on the front lines of her mind. Perhaps that was all that she needed to hold onto. She gave a sigh. What a puzzle, a puzzle that she couldn't seem to solve.

She couldn't help but nod in agreement with Neron when he talked about Miriel and Damion and how lucky they were to have friends like them. For some reason, Miriel and Damion were able to keep everything balanced, everything in its proper place, everything flowed well. She and Neron were about as connected as two similar electric charges, but Miriel and Damion stuck together like super glue had attached them at the hip. Jaedon wondered if it was just the huge difference in personalities between them, or if it was something else that made Damion and Miriel so close. Perhaps she needed to find one of those two and talk to them...Preferably Miriel, she could probably understand where Jaedon was coming from better than Damion.

Jaedons entire figure cringed when Neron mentioned the dog. She hated dogs. Even her face scrunched up a little, just thinking about some massive canine chomping away at the bit. Slobbery, uncouth creatures... She shook it off and tried to listen with her complete attention, highly amused by the flickering shapes made by the fire in Neron's hand.

When Neron finished, Jaedon looked at the fire with her brow furrowed and then, rather impulsively asked, "Since you're the one getting the raw end of the deal here, what can I do for you? What can I do to show my heart to you? You're the one that should see it the most, so what can I do?"

When Neron closed up and said he was fixing to leave, a slight frown came to Jaedon's face. She didn't want him to leave, but she realized that she had been plaguing him with questions and with all of her problems and expecting answers from him. He had given them all most faithfully, but that was not Neron's way generally. He needed to be alone now. No doubt he had his own problems to mull over without having to mull over hers as well.

She stood up and walked over to Neron, wrapping her arms around him and giving him a tight hug, "Thank you, Neron." She wasn't just thanking him for talking to her, she was thanking him for constantly being her punching bag, for always trying to help her. She realized now that if she ever did learn to share her heart with someone, she knew knew that it would be safe with Neron. There was no one better to help her learn.